Life is a constant exercise in self-improvement. And while part of that focus, we directly focus on being more educated or moving up the ranks of the workplace, we sometimes forget to improve the way we treat ourselves and those around us. In the rush to do so, the idea of being “better” can be lost in ambition and selfishness. The journey to improve your soul and compassion for yourself and others begins here. We are here with 20 ideas to become a better person. Hope you follow these ideas and become a good person.
1. Set goals for yourself and frame goal
Goals give us focus as well it provides a way to measure our progress. Goals motivate us to stay on track. Start by writing down your goals. Those who write down their goals and dreams are more likely to achieve them. This will also open up your introspective side and allow you to better understand yourself from an objective point of view.
The writing should be an active and reflective activity. Simply writing random thoughts is not likely to be very helpful. Instead, write about situations you encounter, how they made you feel at the time, how you reacted, how you felt about it later, and what you think you could do differently.
Here are some questions to start: Is there a particular relationship with a loved one that you would like to improve? Would you like to be more philanthropic? Do you want to do more for the environment? Do you want to learn to be a better son/daughter?
Research has shown that you are more likely to achieve your goals if they are framed as “positive” (something you will do) rather than negative (something you will stop doing). Framing your goals as negatives could lead you to judge yourself or feel guilty about your progress. Think of your goals as something you are working on, rather than something you are moving away from.
For example, if you have decided that you want to be more grateful, frame it positively: “I want to express my gratitude to people when they are kind to me.” Avoid outlining it as a decision on past behavior, such as “I want to stop being so ungrateful.”
2. Support others
Helping others may seem like an obvious route to becoming a better person, as we often think of “good people” as those who are willing to sacrifice for others. This, in the minds of many, is what makes a person “good”. Because of the connection between altruism and emotional well-being, good deeds can also make us better people. It is said that it is better to give than to receive. So while you may feel too stressed and busy worrying about your problems and those of your family to extend that help to others when it is not necessary, expanding your ability to focus on the needs of others can also help you. Altruism can help you relieve stress.
For example, one study found that dialysis patients, transplant patients, and family members who became supportive volunteers for other patients experienced increased personal growth and emotional well-being. Another study in patients with multiple sclerosis (MS) showed that those who offered support to other MS patients experienced greater benefits than their supported peers, including a more pronounced improvement in confidence, self-awareness, self-esteem, depression, and daily functioning.3 Those who offered support generally found that their lives changed dramatically for the better.
In addition to making the world a better place, exercising your altruism can make you a happier and more compassionate person. This is a simple route to being a better person, one that is available to all of us every day as there are so many ways to express altruism. This is good news indeed.
3. Learn how to be easy to use
Our relationships can create a refuge from the stress and help us be better people at the same time. They can also be a major source of stress when there is a conflict that is poorly resolved or festering. The beauty of this is that as we do the work it takes to become best friends, partners, and family members, it can also be a path to becoming a better person.
Something you can do to improve your relationships and improve yourself is to learn conflict resolution strategies. Be a good listener, understand the other side when in conflict, and learn anger management techniques. These things can help us be better versions of ourselves. They can also minimize the stress we experience in relationships and strengthen them. And close relationships generally provide plenty of opportunities to practice these skills as you work to improve them, so you may even be able to appreciate opportunities when they arise and feel less upset.
4. Find a role model.
Role models are a great source of inspiration for all of us. As well the stories of our role models can make us feel strong when times get tough. You can choose a religious figure, politician, or artist, or you can choose someone close to whom you admire. If you only model your behavior with someone with whom you have no interaction, it can be easy to develop a distorted perception of them. This could lead to unhealthy thinking about you. Even Beyonce is not perfect after all.
The role models do not have to change the world. Anuradha Koirala and Mother Teresa are incredibly inspiring figures, but they are not the only people from whose behavior you can learn. Often it is the little everyday behaviors and ways of thinking that you can learn more about. So, for example, if one of your coworkers seems to be happy all the time, ask him why. Ask how he thinks about life. Ask what he does. You will be amazed at what you can learn if you just ask. That doesn’t mean you can’t find inspiration in the stories of others. Finding someone whose story you can relate to can help you, especially if you don’t have many role models in your own life.
Eminent astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson says against the traditional idea of role models as someone you want to “be”. Instead, it suggests that you examine how those people got where you want to go. What books do they read? What paths did they choose? How do people get where you want to be? Asking these questions and finding the answers will help you develop your path, rather than trying to copy someone else’s.
5. Stop criticizing yourself
Take the time to appreciate your talents and best features, whether physical or internal. The more hostile you are to yourself, the more hostile you will be to others. Start by keeping track of when you experience negative thoughts about yourself. Consider what the situation was, what you thought, and the consequences of those thoughts.
For example, you can create an entry that looks like this: “I went to the gym today. I was surrounded by skinny people and I started to feel fat. I felt angry with myself and ashamed of being in the gym. I didn’t even want to finish my training. Then find a rational response to those thoughts. This can be difficult, but by constantly challenging your negative internal dialogue with cold, hard facts and logic, you can change the way you think.
For example, balanced response to the above situation could look like this: I go to the gym to take care of my body and my health. That is an act of kindness and care for myself. Why should I feel ashamed of worrying about myself? Each person’s bodies are different, and mine may not resemble someone else’s. People in the gym who are very fit could have been working on it longer than me. They may only have good genes. If others judge me based on my appearance, do I value your opinion? Or do I want to value the people who support and encourage my acts of taking care of myself?
Self-criticism frequently comes in the form of “should,” such as “You should have a fancy motorbike,” or “You should wear a certain size of clothing.” When we compare ourselves to the standards set by others, we can end up unhappy and embarrassed. Determine what you want for yourself and reject what others say it “should” be.
6. Work to control your anger and jealousy.
These emotions are a natural part of life, but if you constantly feel angry or jealous of others, you will have a hard time finding happiness. Just like cultivating self-pity, accepting the behaviors and desires of others is a necessary step in becoming the type of person you want to be. Anger can often happen because we believe that things “shouldn’t” happen to us. We can get angry if we perceive that things are going differently than we imagine. Developing the flexibility to appreciate that things won’t always work the way you expected will help reduce your anger.
It is easier for letting go of anger said than done. While anger is a perfectly normal emotion, you can’t let it get infected. When this happens, you can make reckless decisions, and, most importantly, it can affect your health. Research suggests that pent-up anger can cause digestive problems, trouble sleeping, and even heart disease. To help you let go of anger, it is suggested that you write down your feelings, pray or meditate, or start managing your thoughts.
Focus on the things in life you have control over and worry less about what you can’t control. Remember: you can control your actions, but not your results. Focusing on your actions instead of trying to control uncontrollable outcomes can help you relax and feel less angry when things go wrong (which will happen, every once in a while).
7. Accept responsibility.
Good or bad, you are responsible for the outcome and consequences of your actions. We all make mistakes, we are only human. Apologize when you are wrong, and accept your mistakes: you will be better for it. Stop blaming others when things don’t go well. Learning to accept personal responsibility for your actions, including your behaviors, emotions, and failures, all over which you have control is the main element in growing as an individual and becoming a better person. We often blame others, sometimes so subtly that we hardly realize we are doing it. We make up excuses and why something is not our fault.
You take control of your life when you accept that you are only responsible for your actions. To take this one step further, ask yourself if you are taking responsibility for creating the life you want, for becoming the person you want to be. Or do you just let life happen and then blame the world for your failures?
8. Be courteous.
How much effort does it take to say “Thank you” or to keep the elevator door open for someone? Not much at all. However, these acts of kindness can brighten someone’s day. Being polite is a small act of kindness that we can do for everyone we meet. It is not a trivial thing. There is the power behind saying “thank you” and “please,” greeting someone warmly or taking time to talk. These little things instill positive feelings in those around you, especially when you first meet them. Different situations will require different levels of courtesy and formality.
Having a coffee or a drink with a friend will be a more informal situation with a more relaxed language than a formal dinner or a business meeting. But maintaining a certain level of courtesy and politeness is always appreciated because it shows consideration, consideration, and kindness.
9. Practice active gratitude.
Gratitude is more than a feeling; It is an active practice. Cultivating an “attitude of gratitude” can make you a more positive, happier, and healthier person. Gratitude has been shown to help people overcome trauma, strengthen their relationships, and show compassion for others.
- Keep a gratitude journal. Record things you experience that you are thankful for. These can be small, like a beautiful morning or a delicious cup of perfect tea. They can be impossible to measure, such as the love of a couple or a friendship. Paying attention to these things and recording them will help you store them so you can remember them later.
- Savor surprises. Something unexpected or surprising can have a stronger effect on you than something mundane. Even these can be small; For example, consider when your partner does the dishes or receives a text message from a friend that you haven’t heard from in months.
- Share your gratitude with others. You are more likely to remember positive things if you share them with others. Sharing also has the benefit of brightening someone else’s day and possibly inspiring gratitude of your own.
10. Recognize opportunities to grow and change.
Life is full of unexpected turns that we cannot predict. We can’t help but be a little afraid of change because the unknown is always a little scary. That fear can stop us, and inadvertently may be holding back your personal and professional growth. Allowing yourself to grow and evolve is a necessary part of life and part of the journey you are on.
Don’t shy away from new opportunities or shirk your responsibilities. Be willing to take the risk and push yourself out of your comfort zone, and you will be amazed at what you find. Always try to keep learning new things: education and experience are essential to grow and become a better and more complete person.
11. Forgive others.
Forgiving someone who has hurt you allows you to let go of past pain. It does not mean that you forget what happened; rather, it means that you learn to release resentment and anger, which would otherwise be a burden on your mind and heart. Forgiveness has benefits for physical health. Living in grudges and past mistakes can increase blood pressure and heart rate while practicing forgiveness can reduce stress on your body. Despite its many benefits, forgiving others can be one of the most difficult things to do in the world.
- Think about the wrong which you want to forgive. Observe the thoughts you are experiencing about that mistake. How do you feel towards that person? How does your body feel?
- Reflect on that experience through the lens of learning. How could you have done something differently? What could the other person have done differently? Can you learn from this experience for the future? Turning a painful experience into a learning experience can help you let go of your feeling of injury.
- Talk to the other person. Don’t make accusations; that will only put the other person on their defensive side. Instead, use the “I” statements to express your feelings and ask them to share theirs with you.
- Valuing peace over justice. One reason why it can be so difficult to forgive is our sense of “justice”. The person who harmed you may never “understand what’s coming to them,” but holding on to your anger and injury ultimately only hurts you. Don’t make forgiveness depend on a particular action or result.
Remember that forgiveness is not absolution. The error still happened, and you haven’t excused it by forgiving it. What you have done is release the burden of carrying your anger with you. Take the time to meditate and be grateful for the acquired wisdom and knowledge of your suffering. Practice the mantra: I forgive you and make you free.
12. Be part of a community.
The community can be a geographic location where people live, play, and work, but it can also be a virtual space where people connect through shared ideas, values, beliefs, and needs. Regardless of how you define the community, it is important that you find ways to be part of a larger group, and may even be part of many different communities based on your interests and background.
The community supports us, giving us a feeling of inclusion and connection with other like-minded people. But it also gives us a way to give back, help others, and share our wisdom and knowledge. This includes volunteering and working with others within your community, helping to enrich the lives of those around you.
13. Do what you love.
No matter how much money you make, you won’t be happy if you spend your whole life doing something you hate. While not everyone is lucky enough to make a career out of their favorite hobby, it’s important to at least spend some of your time on the things that make you happy.
Doing things that are meaningful to you will help you feel happier and fulfilled. Creative activities, such as art or music, can help you express your feelings and thoughts productively and healthily. It is a common myth that the most successful people in life are the most determined. They don’t let anything get in the way of their goal, even taking time for themselves. Unfortunately, that can be a very unhealthy way of life. Try not to allow yourself to focus so much on one aspect of your life that you forget to take care of the others.
If you are chronically unhappy at your job, consider why. Some changes may change how you feel about it. If the reason you are not happy is that you feel that your work is not meaningful or is not in line with your values, consider looking for another line of work.
14. Take note of how your behavior impacts others.
We can spend so much time concentrating on our behavior that we don’t take the time to notice how we are affecting others. Part of this is a psychological defense mechanism to help us manage interactions with others. If everyone responds similarly, you may have developed some habits that are not helpful. It could be allowing its defense mechanisms to get in the way of growth.
For example, consider how others respond to you. Do they seem to get hurt easily by the things you say? It is possible that instead of everyone you meet being overly sensitive, which is unlikely, you have developed a defense mechanism to humiliate others to make you feel better. Experiment with different ways of communicating with others that do not elicit the same pain response.
See how you interact with others. Look for patterns and determine which of these patterns are useful and which are not. The more you learn to be flexible and adaptable to your behavior, the better attuned you will be to those around you.
15. Have respect for others (and for yourself).
How would you feel if you just cleaned your house and someone came in and tracked the mud everywhere? You’d probably be a little annoyed that the shoes hadn’t been removed. Take this mindset and apply it to everyday life. For example, don’t throw your trash or cigarette butts on the floor of public toilets or sidewalks just because someone else will clean it up.
Being respectful of others is a golden rule if we want to be better people, and it also relates to every other point on this list. It goes beyond treating others with good manners by talking politely and respecting them and listening to them, although those are important elements of respect. Respect is also about admitting differences affectionately. You don’t have to agree to any of it, but people are entitled to their opinions, and theirs are not necessarily correct.
It is important to be respectful of other people’s time, ideas, experiences, and lifestyles. By showing respect, we recognize others and we recognize the importance of treating others with integrity. It does not mean that you have to flatter them or agree with their opinions. You can respectfully disagree. But if you do this while treating the other person with dignity, you set the example of how you expect to be treated in return.
16. Give to others.
Not everyone can afford to donate thousands of dollars to their favorite charity, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make small contributions to help those in need. Helping others not only benefits them but also you. Research has shown that unselfish people are happier and may even experience an endorphin urge known as “high help” for doing good to others. Instead of spending weekends in front of the TV, volunteer at your local homeless shelter and rescue and feed street animals. Serving others can help you feel more connected to them and can help you feel more as part of a community than as an isolated individual.
Practice random acts of kindness every day. This could be as small an act as helping an older person carry groceries to their car, or giving someone the right of way when driving. The more you do it, the more you will realize how rewarding it is to help others, which will ultimately help you overcome selfishness. Research has shown that the “pay in advance” principle exists. Altruistic acts are passed from person to person. Your little show of kindness and generosity could inspire another person to do the same, which could inspire another person, what could inspire another person, and so on.
17. Don’t make excuses
We all make excuses from time to time. This is a simple habit that we use to rationalize “why” we don’t follow through on a specific commitment. That being said, if you’ve developed a bad habit where you make excuses all the time, then it might be time to curb this behavior (and of course don’t make excuses for why you can’t start today).
Blaming your spouse, boss, or clients is fruitless and won’t take you very far. Instead of pointing fingers and making excuses for why you are not happy or successful in your personal or professional life, acknowledge your mistakes and learn from them. You will become a better person when you do this.
18. Be a good listener.
Listening to others and listening to them with an open mind is one of the best things you can do for someone else and yourself. It shows the speaker that you are listening to their opinion with full interest. It allows you to develop closer connections with others and hear perspectives that you might otherwise dismiss.
We should try to participate in active listening with everyone around us, not just those we want to impress. Being an effective listener can change your life for the better by fostering deeper relationships and exposing ourselves to thoughts, ideas, and worldviews beyond our own experiences.
19. Determine what changes you want to see.
Try to be as specific as possible. Instead of saying “I would like to be a best friend,” divide it into parts. What do you mean by that? Do you mean reaching out to others more often? Do you mean being available to spend time together?
Keep your ideas about change reasonable. If you are an introvert by nature, for example, it may not be effective or consistent with the value for you to define “being a better person” as “going out to parties”. Instead, you might frame your change as achievable and in line with what you know about yourself: “Practice greeting new people.”
20. Recognize your weaknesses
Addressing your weaknesses is a great step to becoming a better person, but remember, the goal is not to be perfect. It is the effort to improve what makes us better people. Without being too self-critical, list your weaknesses. Consider ways to strengthen those weaknesses when you have time. Focus on one at a time and create specific strategies for improvement. For example, if you tend to overwork, set aside time to relax and play. This will improve your attitude and your health.
If you have trouble recognizing weaknesses, ask a close friend or loved one to explain some of them. If necessary, ask a friend or family member to help you be responsible. Be sure to let them know that you don’t want a master list of everything you’ve done wrong.
Change takes time and you should feast on small victories along the way. Always remember that you are a work in progress.