So you’re in a whole new relationship, and unlike those other guys in the past, this one seems to be the only one. It’s amazing how each relationship gives us a little more clarity about the type of boyfriend we deserve. But if this guy is the man of your dreams, you might start to feel a little insecure about how you’re doing as a girlfriend.
To be a good girlfriend, you must be open and honest with your partner, support his wishes and needs, and be willing to show your love and affection for him. Keep in mind that you must also strive to maintain your independence to enjoy a healthy relationship.
Here are some ways to calm your mind and make sure you are the best girlfriend possible.
20 Best Ideas For Being a Good Girlfriend
1. Be honest.
While being honest with your partner is very important, to the point of being paramount, it is equally important that you be honest with yourself. If you overreact or make a mistake, you can acknowledge your mistake and apologize. If you feel vulnerable or upset, you can sort your feelings and verbalize them in a non-accusatory way.
And the most important thing here is that you have to be open about your feelings as much as possible. For example, if he does or says something that bothers you, be open about how it affects you, without accusing him or asking him to change.
If you establish strong lines of communication from the start, you will know sooner rather than later whether this relationship will last or fail.
2. Be yourself.
Don’t create a fake just to impress him. It can be tempting if you think he would prefer a different type of girl, but generally, this is just putting together snippets of things being said or suggested and you are probably wrong. After all, he wants to date you, not an imagined form of perfection. And if you are tempted to change things about yourself because he insists that it would be better slimmer, taller, prettier, calmer, whatever, then that’s a good indication that it’s not supported. If he says those things to you in a persistent and tiresome way, then it is not love, but an attempt to control you.
Don’t pretend you share your interests if you don’t. It may be fun or “safe” to do it initially, but it’s extremely painful when he finds out that you don’t love what he loves; He could base his thoughts about his future role on something that is not real and it will end up hurting him both.
3. Give your partner your full attention when you are with him.
Whenever you are with your partner, be with your partner, without scrolling through social networks on your phone or sending text messages with other people. Let him know that when you spend time with him, he is your primary focus. If you have to check your phone, for example, because you expect an important email or phone call, let him know ahead of time. You can say, Sorry, I am waiting for an urgent email” or “I am waiting for an important call, so I may have to check it briefly.
This does not mean that both of you cannot watch a movie or TV show together. But after the show is over, take time to sit down and chat about it instead of parting in your separate worlds.
4. Ask your partner for advice when making a decision.
When you ask your partner to help you with something, it shows him that you respect his opinion and honor his advice. Get in the habit of asking your partner for advice every time you have a serious decision to make, even if you don’t necessarily need his advice or have already made a decision.
For example, if you are trying to decide between two job offers, you could say “So, you know Alpha and Omega extended my job offers. I have made a list of pros and cons for each job, and I like your input.”.If you think you have already decided what you are going to do, you could say “I have to decide between going on vacation with my family or staying home. I am inclined to go with him, but I would like to know what you think before I decide”.
Follow up with your partner when you make your final decision. If you did not follow his advice, explain why you decided to go differently.
5. Take an interest in his interests.
Remember what he likes to do and what he likes to talk about. You don’t have to act like you love his hobbies, but at least try to understand why he is so fanatical. If he loves a band, try to understand why. If he loves being playful and immature, remember that it could be his way to release stress.
By learning to accept his unique way of being, you will also learn more about yourself and ultimately whether you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person. You do not have to be interested in all his interests. If he likes to watch baseball but can’t get in, that’s fine, too. Just asking about his interests and talking about the things that matter to him may be enough.
6. Learn to work as a team.
As in any healthy relationship, you will experience your share of conflict, some small, some large. A relationship is a matter of teamwork and a symbiotic relationship, not parasitic, where one party gives and the other simply takes without giving back enough. In a team, you should support each other, do not undermine and appreciate each other openly. In difficult times, a team approach can help you solve problems less emotionally, as you both take responsibility for fixing things rather than waiting for one or the other to fix things.
Avoid having a “one-way” relationship in which the bond revolves around one thing. Keep your relationship strong by bringing variety and diversity to your relationship. Try different and new things together. Relationships are about learning together, having fun together, and growing together.
7. Keep an active curiosity about your partner’s thoughts and feelings.
When you met your partner, you probably had a million questions for him and wanted to know everything about him. But once you have been together for a while, that curiosity can fade away. You may think you already know everything about him, but you don’t. Ask him how he thinks and feels about things instead of assuming you know.
This applies to both the big and small things in your life. For example, if the two of you are watching a TV show together, you can ask him which character is his favorite and why, or what is the best part of the show for him. Ask open-ended questions and give your partner a chance to surprise you.
8. Learn to compromise.
If you want to be a good girlfriend, then you must learn to commit instead of fighting or getting angry the moment you don’t get away with it. To engage well, both must be able to discuss a situation calmly and rationally while understanding the other person’s perspective. Try to understand where your partner is coming from instead of concentrating blindly on what you think you need. You don’t want to be that girl who always gets away with it just because your partner would rather give in than stand firm because you get mad when things don’t go well for you.
9. Celebrate his achievements.
If you’ve just gotten a big promotion at work, take him out to dinner and insist on paying the bill, or at least cover your drinks. Let him know how much you appreciate him and how special these moments are. He probably broke his butt for a long time to get that professional recognition, and he deserves attention. Or, if he is still in school and breaks half his term, be sure to let him know how proud you are. All in all, just show him you’re on his side.
10. Give each other space.
You should support your partner, but you should also be able to “be there” for him in spirit when you’re not around. If you want to be a good girlfriend, then you have to make time to do your thing, hang out with your girlfriends, and see your partner. He should know that you are thinking of him and supporting him even if you are not around. If you feel insecure and doubt the strength of your relationship the moment you separate, then you have a problem.
You should support your partner if he just wants to date his friends instead of trying to intrude. It is important to allow your partner time to spend time with friends and hang out without you. If you feel entitled to all his time and attention, learn not to be an obsessive girlfriend. Don’t be too protective girlfriend; Let him out without him feeling watched.
Remember that he does not need it for everything and that you are separate people and a couple. When you need some space, don’t take it personally, acknowledge what it is, your time to rejuvenate and share different interests with others. But make sure he knows you’re always there for him.
11. Work on your communication.
Don’t expect him to read your mind or your mood. Tell him if you want something out of the relationship. As the relationship progresses, you will be able to read and understand even more, but the words are very important. Also, be sure to challenge him. If he wants to eat burgers but isn’t really in the mood for McDonald’s, ask him if there are other options. Otherwise, you may have some secret resentment, which will cause problems in the future.
12. Be loving and don’t be jealous
There are several ways to show your affection; some are more obvious than others and how you approach this will depend on how openly loving you like to be personally. Affection is close but not the same as intimacy: affection is about showing openly that you care about this person and it can be shown at any time of day or night, public or private.
Think about how you like to show affection to the people you care about, such as holding hands, touching an arm, quick kisses on the cheek, a hug, stroking your hair, words of support, and mentioning how great someone is in front to other people, etc. Pet names like “Baby” or “Sweetheart” are a great way to show affection to your partner. Try not to overdo this, however. It can be a big detour if you call him “Mr. Cuddle-Bear”, especially in public.
Of all things, good communication is a vital part of any relationship, so make sure he knows how much you like him. Regular text messages and emails can be a bonus, but too many will be overwhelming and can seem sticky. These kinds of things show that you like him, and you want him to last forever, but don’t turn him on so much that you scare him away!
You should be loving, but not to the point that you start to see red the moment your partner talks to, or even just mentions, another girl. Nothing will turn off your partner faster than a girlfriend who is so insecure that she cannot bear the idea of other women that exist in the universe. Your partner will appreciate you even more if you are nice to his friends instead of talking about how ugly or annoying any girl you see is.
If you go out with your friends, don’t text him every two seconds to make sure he is not talking to other girls. This will only make your partner see how little you trust him.
13. Give him gifts.
When you’re in a relationship, it’s fun to give him little gifts. Everyone loves receiving gifts and showing him that he means a lot to you. Don’t go overboard, just give him a gift when you feel loving and want to let him know how much he means to you. You don’t want him to think that you are trying to draw his affection.
Make him something by hand. A paper flower, an artistic heart, something creative that reflects your personality, so that every time he looks at it, he thinks of you and smiles. If you are a musical type or play an instrument, feel free to play one or two songs (extra points if you play a song you wrote yourself).
14. Congratulate him more than you criticize him.
If everything you say around him is a criticism or an attack, he will not wait to see you and he will begin to reconsider being with you. However, you don’t always have to agree with him just because he is your partner. Touch is a better strategy in mature relationships, and setting boundaries and making commitments are important relationship strategies to learn and adopt. Although you can raise valid criticism when you feel good, you should say at least four positive things about him for every negative thing you say. Don’t screw him up just because you’re in a bad mood or because things aren’t going perfectly.
15. Maintain honesty and openness in your relationship.
Lies and deception are always a barrier to closeness. However, refusing to share parts of your life with your partner or keeping secrets from him can be just as damaging. When he finds out about something you’ve been hiding from him, he may wonder what else you’ve been hiding. For example, suppose you have a dance class twice a week, but for some reason, you don’t want to tell your partner. Maybe you think he’ll ridicule you. Then you keep it a secret. However, in doing so, you are building a wall between the two of you.
This doesn’t mean you can’t keep a birthday gift or surprise party a secret. However, in that situation, you should also be aware that your partner will likely feel like you are hiding something from him, and you may start to become suspicious.
16. Always know your boy
Always be interested in learning more about your boyfriend. When you talk to him or chat with him online, ask probing questions that can be opened up in personal discussions, although of course don’t ask a boring series of long questions, it’s not an interview. Have good conversations with him about important memories, childhood experiences, plans, wishes, dreams, and future ambitions.
Ask open-ended questions that allow you to tell a story about your life. Try to avoid bland questions that strangers ask in conversations with each other. Remember, not just through questions and conversations, you are getting to know him every day and in many different ways. Study it; Know your interests, likes, dislikes, favorites, hobbies, and fantasies.
Knowing your boy well will help you choose the perfect gifts to give him, plan well-thought-out surprises and perform other gestures that will win his heart because he can tell you that you listened to him. It will also save you some hassle by avoiding unnecessary misunderstandings that could have occurred otherwise.
You will know your boy more than anyone, and when the two of you are deeply connected intellectually, you will strengthen the bond of your relationship to such an extent that you will become inseparable. You will be different from his previous girlfriends or other female friends because what you share with him is something unique, that he will not get anywhere else.
17. Be surprising and spontaneous
Occasionally, prepare something very good and great for both of you as a surprise. It can be anything from preparing lunch or dinner to taking it to an exotic or fun place; just plan it, then surprise him. For your soulmate, you want to do something that makes him feel special; do things that make him realize he’s lucky to have you. For example, take him out to dinner at a quiet and elegant restaurant. Then, after a good meal, serve him a dessert in the form of an excellent poem that you have composed yourself. Or suddenly announce an impromptu treasure hunt or a hiking trip you’ve been secretly planning.
Things must be prepared in advance and carried out in an organized manner. These surprises and secret activities don’t have to involve expensive material things, just fun things that you both know you will enjoy together. Be unpredictable, but in a good way, this creates anticipation, as he keeps wondering what’s next. You will never bore him this way, and your relationship will always be vibrant. Never be predictable or drive your relationship into a rut.
18. Be understanding and patient with your boy
If your boy is not ready for any intimate activity, understand him and be patient with him. Forcing him to move too fast or do things he is not ready to do is harassment and will harm your relationship. If you didn’t know how to treat a man and as a result did something to annoy him, be the one who apologized and meant it. A great deal of sympathy has to flow from you to him.
Instead of trying to force the problem, be patient and let nature take care of the rest. Let him come to you when he’s ready, and he will, depending on what you’re doing to him or how you’re treating him, of course. Everything you do has an impact, either increasing or reducing your chances with it. Respect his decisions, and he will respect yours too. More than that, he will love you for your patience and consideration. Love is not just about making love with the boy of your dreams. More importantly, you must care about him and be sensitive to his feelings.
Learn to be a girl who is not easily bothered by people, someone who is very calm in any situation. The boy responds to how you treat him. What you want from him, he will give you if you approach him the right way, not only sex but many other things. As a girl, you should know that and be proactive in your approach with him, patient and effortless. If he is not interested in you, then you have not created an atmosphere to back him up.
19. Being in control of things
You have to take control of your life and your relationship. Be the driver of the world around you. Be proactive. Lead your life instead of letting it lead you. Here are some things to keep in mind:
– Men love a girl who has confidence in what she does. They fall in love with the girl who handles things and acts according to what needs to be done.
– Make your life well organized by putting the right programs into your activities and routines.
– Have defined goals, make a plan to achieve them, and integrate that plan into your daily activities.
– Achieve your goals, no matter how small, because they will give you a lot of power to handle big tasks in demanding situations and achieve bigger goals.
Exude confidence in everything you do, whether or not you are together; Your trust must be abundant and authentic. Take control of your life and everything around you. When you are angry, upset, sad, or unhappy about something, know what to do to correct your mood. When something bad happens, know what to do. Try different things to cheer him up until he gets it right, trial and error is a great teacher. Not only be his girlfriend, but also your guardian and caregiver.
20. Sprinkle your relationship with a dose of spontaneity.
While familiarity is one of the most comforting aspects of a relationship, try not to fall into the routine of always doing the same thing. While you probably have one or two regular things that you enjoy doing together, avoid making regular the only thing you do. Instead, try visiting new places, trying new activities, and going to different parts of the city. Even if the new activities don’t go as expected, you have at least shared the experience and are getting to know yourself even better.
You can keep the excitement in your relationship by mixing things and making your outings together refreshing. Both of you can create memories together that will last far beyond experiences. Surprise your partner by doing something out of the ordinary now and then, this could include anything from running your partner to their hiking destination, or dancing to music.
Take a surprise trip. You can choose a location in advance and simply tell him what to pack without telling him where you are going. Of course, use your best judgment about the preferences of you two. Maybe he will love the mystery and excitement of going to an unknown place, maybe not.
If he has mentioned the fact that he has never visited a national park or a peculiar city not far from where you live, take him there without telling him where you are going. He will love the spontaneity and the fact that you took the time to listen to him.
- Defend your partner. Showing loyalty and support is a key part of building the strength of a relationship.
- Appreciate all the things that are good in your relationship. Everyone feels more comfortable when there is appreciation. You don’t learn to thank him for the things he does, even if that means saying thanks for a trip home. The things he does for you are like the respect he has for you. Not all women have a good relationship, I appreciate yours.
- If your partner is passively acting toward you, it does not necessarily mean that he does not love you. Chances are he is shy or introverted. Perhaps he has never been in a relationship before and just doesn’t know how to act. Or maybe he is just not the type of person to yell from the rooftops, but he still has feelings for you. Talk to him about what makes him act that way and be understanding. Maybe he expects you to take more initiative because you’ve had more experience with relationships than he has. Or maybe it is just your way and you need to get used to it.
- Let him know he is right when he is. This is a great confidence booster, just like admitting guilt when you’re at fault is a great way to ease conflict in a relationship. Learn these skills from the start and you will have the foundation for a solid and shared relationship.
- Don’t try to change him. Just let him know the things you like, if he loves them, he will try to do it next time. If he is very different from the person you imagine spending your life with, consider meeting that person and treating this relationship as a learning gift.
- Don’t let your friends try to manage your relationship as it is your relationship and nobody else’s. Sure, he will have his opinions, just as you will have your opinions on your relationships. But you don’t have to listen to all the advice from your friends if you don’t want to. And keep in mind that sometimes it’s about your incompatibility with your partner and that’s fine, not everyone has to click perfectly. You simply agree to listen to him and ask him to do his best to “get along” with him.
- Don’t be too aggressive! Don’t force him into things that make him feel uncomfortable.
- Don’t let him pressure you; instead, be open about things, including the impact of any demands placed on them. Likewise, don’t tell him how to live his life, either.
- Be sure to talk about any problems you may have and resolve them as a couple. He must take care of you and pamper you, just like you take care of him and pamper him.